Stop, thief!

This guy thought he could pull a fast one one Dr. Feelgood (and his trusty watchcat)! Wrong. He won't soon forget the shame he felt that night. Humbled by a cat, no less. Not just any cat, though. A special cat rescued from the institution by yours truly. A cat that sees many things that the good doctor doesn't. However, we both saw the thief with his paw in the cookie jar. Won't happen with the Tasmanian Devil on point. No snack tonight.

The doctor answers your questions

To the interested reader with the large pet problem, yes we can handle most sizes. As you can see, a client's pet iguana took a wrong turn and ended up out on a limb. No problem. Our rule of thumb is if it would fit in a chest freezer, we are game (or maybe the pet is).

And that question about returning a pet if guilt sets in, yes we can. (in fact, that is our motto!) Our cryocautery division is trained in restoration thanks to our recent Antartic trip. But our advice is, just deal with the guilt. You will thank us later!

Our fees are based on the type of service we render (no pun intended). Call out charges apply. Risk is rewarded. You understand.

A special thanks to the kind reader who suggested "owner happenings". We have created a special division, Owner Happenings of New Orleans (OH-NO), for unique requests. Stay tuned.

Yikes!

While I was in Antartica on a cryogenics research project, some cat hugger hijacked my blog pretending I was getting all touchy-feely about our little problems. To set the record straight, I do like animals as much as the next bloke, especially if they are seasoned properly ; ).

Anyway, the blog is once again secure and we are back in the saddle. BTW, thanks for the 4-legged ride, Mrs. J. I told you Mr. J wouldn't remember he ever had a horse.

After listening to the other side of the story as told in stunning detail from a recently rescued feline, I realized that "human happenings" need to exist for pets as well. As you can tell from the picture, he was begging not to be sent back to his old life. Boring, is how it was described with long days with nothing to do but sleep, often forced to sleep for hours at a time (sometimes flat on his back) with only a few breaks for snacks and personal hygiene. And being turned out into the terrors of the night, forced to listen to those squawking birds and bullfrogs while the owners were safely inside. Beasts! I began to understand the dreadful conditions imposed on some of these creatures and vowed to make things better.

So, if you know any creature, furry or otherwise, in such dire conditions, don't hesitate to call 1-800-wantout.

Pet Happenings

Did your kids get ducks for Easter? Do you think they should only be served with cranberry sauce?
Did someone dump a stray dog in your neighborhood and he has adopted you as his new best friend?
Do you have a cat (or two) that you inherited from a dearly departed loved one (and you are highly alergic)?

Pet Happenings is the answer! One call to us and your troubles are over. We discreetly separate you and your problem pet...no questions asked. And when little Crissie asks where Poopsie is, you can say "Something must have happened to the pet". And it did because you called Pet Happenings. You don't have to know what happened to the pet. You don't have to feel guilty. There's plenty of that in the world. Let us take that load of guilt and worry off your shoulders. We can take it.

So act now. Get rid of that flee-bitten old mutt that prevents you from taking a vacation. No job is too big or too small. So call now: 1-800-pet-gone and start living again.